You Can’t Be Serious



The Bowlers’ own language – how to translate

 The Sport of Bowls has its very own language which can totally mystify anyone who hears it, but hasn’t had the pleasure of throwing a bowl in fun or earnest.  For the information of the uninitiated, here are a few terms translated into standard English.
  • “Good weight!” = lousy line
  • “Good line” = lousy weight
  • “Good back bowl” = what is it doing way back there
  • “It didn’t quite make it” = that’s in my way
  • “That’s a bit short” = that bowl is closer to you than it is to the jack
  • “You will get it next time” = you sure as hell didn’t get it this time
  • “I’d bowl with him any day” = he always buys the first round


Four bowlers were out on the ‘Green’ practising. As one of them was about to bowl at the 15th end, which was next to a busy road, they saw a funeral precession go by. Instead of bowling, the bowler removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed.

At this point, the other three said, “You know, that was the most touching thing I’ve ever seen.”

And the bowler answers, “Well, I was married to her for 15 years. It was the least I could do!”


One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. ‘Tie me up,’ she purred, ‘and you can do anything you want.’ So he tied her up and went bowling.